Coaches: Don't Let Meryl Streep Ruin Your Practice

During my stay in Brazil I felt so homesick, I needed to watch a movie about New York, the city I call home. So, I went to see "Prime", a comedy about human relations, in which Meryl Streep plays the part of Lisa, a conservative psychotherapist helping her 37-year old client Rafi to overcome her recent divorce. One day in a session, Rafi confesses to Lisa that she's started a hot and heavy relationship with a 24-year old artist.

It's not too long before Lisa finds out that Rafi's new love is David, her very own son, the apple of her eye and the object of all her maternal worries. Lisa has carefully raised him in the Jewish tradition. Hearing that her son is now involved with Rafi, who is non-Jewish, divorced, and 13 years his senior, gives Lisa vertigo. So, as the lust-stricken, unaware Rafi confesses to her therapist juicy details about her new affair, Lisa is listening with one professional ear while with her other, maternal ear she's hearing how that female barracuda is devouring her tender boy.

The movie makes it clear that Lisa's dual relationship with her client is damaging her professional integrity. And what does Lisa do about it? Listening to--get this--her own therapist's advice, she goes against her best judgment and chooses to continue being Rafi's therapist, pretending nothing is happening! But, it's not too long before things spin out of control and, in a disastrous session, Rafi finds out the truth about her therapist's dual identity. She confronts Lisa for her dishonesty and leaves the therapy betrayed and devastated.

Let's freeze-frame here, to take a look at Lisa's actions. They may have served the purposes of a screwball comedy, but if you followed Lisa's example in real life, you'd be harming your client, yourself and your practice. If you ask me, Lisa was lucky that Rafi didn't sue her for malpractice and emotional damages.

My advice? When an issue arises between you and a client that threatens the integrity of your relationship and makes you lose sleep, don't take chances. Bring it up immediately and make your client aware of the potential problems, should you let the issue continue to exist. If you are hesitant, introduce the problem using this very movie. Ask your client to watch "Prime".

Then, use the movie theme to address your existing problem. Explain to your client that you wouldn't want them to feel as betrayed by you as Rafi felt by Lisa.

Then, discuss alternatives taking into account both your client's and your needs. Don't pretend you're made of steel and you have everything under control. It's ok to let your clients see that you respect your limits and you won't compromise your integrity. After all, wouldn't you want them to look up to you as a role model?

If you want to know how to use movies to achieve the goals of your helping profession, increase your effectiveness and attract new clients, check in with the Reel Fulfillment Leaders Training Program, a program designed for therapists and coaches. To find out more about the program, visit http://www.mariagrace.com

Maria Grace, Ph.D., is a psychologist, public speaker, author and self-fulfillment expert. She helps individuals, families, groups and organizations fulfill their dreams and achieve their goals using inspiration from popular movies. She shows you how to use reel entertainment for real self-improvement. You acclaimed method “Reel Fulfillment: A 12-Step Plan for Transforming Your Life through Movies”, (McGraw-Hill, 2005) was hailed as a “harbinger of the new generation of self-help” and was featured in dozens of newspapers and magazines, including The New York Times, Glamour, Elle, and Self. Order “Reel Fulfillment” now, at: http://www.reelfulfillment.com Subscribe to Dr. Grace’s free Ezine, at: http://www.mariagrace.com Contact Dr. Grace at: mariagrace@mymyth, or call her at: 917-816-7632.