In The Face of Fear

Have you ever met someone who seemed to be fearless and wondered how that was possible? Sure, I do suppose there are a few brave, fearless ones out there, but the majority of us definitely experience fear.

Sometimes we are afraid of failure, of not looking good, of saying the wrong things. Sometimes, even when we can sell ourselves through a paper bag, we are afraid that someone will find out…you know…that we are not as smart as they think we are. Most people on a daily basis experience fear. It’s just that we all have different ways of dealing with fears. A friend of mine recently said, “I look at you and see someone so brave. Someone who is never afraid.”

Not trying to be mean, I had to laugh, but only because it couldn’t have further from the truth. I would have loved to have said, “Fear? Why, I laugh in the face of fear!” But I would have been lying.

And while I was flattered by the fact that they saw me as a brave soul, I knew that wasn’t the look I was going for. I wasn’t trying to pull the wool over someone’s eyes, making them believe I was stronger than I really was. Why they thought of me that way, though, was simply because of the what I did once the fear occurred for me.

In actuality, fear is not what stops us. I’m too afraid, I just can’t do it. It really isn’t that you are so afraid that you can’t do it. It is that you are afraid and then choose to not do it. Fear, is simply an excuse to not do something that is uncomfortable.

What if fear didn’t control your actions? How would that change what you did next? What if you could envision fear as something different than you have known it to be all of your life? What if you could just see it as an emotion, no different than being happy or sad? If you could do that, then perhaps you could choose to act differently.

There are other choices you can make when faced with fear:

1- Acknowledge the fear as a legitimate emotion. Okay, so I’m afraid. So what?

2- Ask yourself if the fear is based on actual harm coming to you. If so, you may want to reconsider whether it is a good idea or not.

3- Ask yourself: What is the worst thing that can happen?

4- Rename your fear. Maybe it isn’t fear at all, but energy going through your body to make you even stronger. Make it up, but make it good!

5- Picture your fear as a positive surge of energy.

It’s healthy to feel afraid, so go ahead and feel it, but instead of letting it stop you, let it move you forward by repeating these words: In the face of fear...I will be courageous. Then go do whatever it is you’re afraid of…with courage!

Lesley Moore is President and Owner of LifeScope, Life and Executive Coaching. She specializes in working with individuals in transition, empowering them to create a life they love and with professionals to help them bridge the gap between expectation and performance. She is also a Personal Fitness Trainer and a Freelance Writer. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland with a degree in Journalism and has studied coaching through the Mentor Coach Program, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation.

For more information about Life and Executive Coaching, visit her website at http://www.LifeScopeCoach.com or e-mail her at lessmore4@comcast.net